Living Lithuania : My God is ENOUGH.

This past week has been an incredible time of learning, and learning how to push through with multi-tasking when all you want to do is focus on one thing at a time. Send me an AMEN if you can relate :) The week started with a visit from the Board of Directors of LCC, having them on campus was so amazing. They make such big decisions for the school, and have invested so much into this place. It's hard not to be inspired. With their visit comes many events, such as dinners, and meetings, and making sure my residents stay on good behavior for the week.

My sister Jenna and I have been wanting to plan a trip to travel Europe a bit together this summer. Jenna and I found a great deal on flights and she wanted to buy hers before the prices went up, and that meant now. That also brought up the whole, "What will my summer look like?" question that also touched on the, "Will I be working here next year?" question. This is where the bulk of the anxiety crept in. I needed to figure out which months I was working, and some idea of whether or not I was returning to LCC next year.

I started running to God in prayer about these issues. I needed to figure out a way to gently ask the elephant that was sitting on my chest to leave. I decided to talk to my supervisor here at LCC about all this. She informed me that my intentions for next year were not due until January, that gave me hope that I would know what I wanted to do by then. I also shared with her that since being here I have realized that I not only love being an RD, but love student development and can see myself seeking out higher positions in the student development field in the future. I love that I have been able to realize these goals and that I am confident enough in them to share them with the people I trust. Later that week Alisha, my supervisor invited me to one of the open board meetings, and took the time to introduce me to some of the board members. Later she explained that she wanted me to experience that meeting since I had expressed that I was interested in moving up in Student Life! How amazing that God placed people in my life who want to help me reach my goals!

One night this week we had a dinner with all of the Staff, Faculty, and Board Members of LCC. Before the dinner started I heard someone call my name from a table behind me. I turn around and at first didn't recognize this man who knew my name. I did a double take only to realize that this man was my NEIGHBOR from my hometown. He still lives next door to my parents! He said he has been serving on the board of LCC for 9 years! This was an incredible answer to prayer. God was showing me that this University is important, people care for it, and invest in it and the work it is doing, even people who have known me since I was 5 years old. I couldn't believe this happened!

I lead a women's bible study in my apartment every Sunday after church. This week we were squashing lies people believe about God. The one that hit me the most was "God is not Enough." It explained how people often believe that if they have God in their lives, plus a happy family life is complete. God plus a spouse that loves them, God plus friends that care, God plus a job that is life giving.....I want to strive to live a life where God is completely enough to complete me. I realize how hard that is. I have so many wants in my life, but now my goal is to make God the only thing I desire.

While I was thinking and praying about what next year holds for me I started to think of all the reasons I shouldn't come back (Satan at his best). I will miss my friends and family too much, I need to start paying my student loans again, I miss my comfortable life, I want to start my Masters program, I want to have a salary that allows me to SAVE money, I miss my car, I will never find a husband here, I want my social life back, the list goes on. After saying these things out loud I realized how selfish all of my desires are. I also realized that God can make each of these happen if He wants to. I want God to be enough!

This weekend I was asked to speak at the Spiritual Life retreat. Sharing my God stories is something I LOVE doing. I feel that we can all help each other out by sharing our experiences, and pointing each other closer to God. After my talk on Spiritual Burnout and Finding Sabbath we had some quiet time to take a walk, journal, or pray. I decided to take a walk through the woods surrounding the retreat house. I was talking with God, waiting for Him to speak back. I was getting short with Him thinking, "God, how can you ask me to stay here another year if I have this, and this, and this, that I need to get done? I can't do it all by myself, why would you ask me to stay here another year?" Then I looked down and saw hundreds of small pine cones, on top of thousands of pine needles under my feet. Then quietly I heard God say, "If I created each one of these pine cones, pine needles, the dirt it sits on, and the hairs on your head, how can you ask me why? How can you be worried about fundraising a few extra dollars? That is nothing for me!" I couldn't help but smile, by myself, in the woods, ha I probably looked crazy. I didn't care, I found so much freedom in that moment.

So for now I am praying and trusting that God will guide me where He wants me, and I will not just follow because it will be good for me, or help me in my career, but because He asked me to. If you are interested, please come alongside me in prayer for next year, fundraising for this year and next, answers to questions, and the faith to have some questions go unanswered. Amen.

Me speaking at the Spiritual Life retreat